Please watch this, and DO NOT do or say what this girl is saying! It’s so annoying!!!

Anyway, here is a video someone compiled of stupid people say to service dog handlers.

Chow for Now!

To get you a bit more familiar with how I normally do my goal setting, I think of something big and huge that I want to do, generally because it helps motivate me.  For example, I’ll use getting a service dog as it fits well into  my blogs topic.  So I start by researching as much as I can about the topic, and then some more – write about it, talk with as many people as possible about the subject, getting as many tips, feedback comments you name it – I want and expect it.  Then, I break it down into chunks.  I’m going to fast forward just a bit to save your time and my fingers from typing too much!

I generally set a date for when I want the dog, and work from there.  I set what you call objectives, which are like mini-goals to help me reach my goal of getting that service dog.  And when I see an issue or something else that needs doing, I fit it into my main goal by adding another smaller goal under it – but then this smaller goal also needs objectives.  For example – I feel my apartment is not totally dog friendly, so I am going to renovate and take down some walls, and redo a few things.  I don’t have the money, so I make more lists on how I can do this myself instead of hiring someone to do it.  This involves a lot of time and energy, and mental stamina which I may or may not have given on the day and my anxiety levels.  So I end up with many little projects which I need to do, and an overloaded brain and sometimes more anxiety because I take more than I can chew.  I then realize that and then break it up into smaller items, but then I get lost somewhere in my mind and then take on another “small” project which I somehow manage to convince myself is a good idea, sometimes it ends up ok, other times it doesn’t work out at all.

As you can already see, my brain is on overload (which is sometimes why I haven’t blogged as much as I’d like to!)  And I was almost rolling my eyes when Paula mentioned goal setting.  (at that moment i was thinking about what a pro I was at setting goals, and I’ve taken courses in it and I was going to do better than everyone else.. what was I thinking??)  She then mentioned that this particular goal setting didn’t exactly mention goals and objectives exactly, and it comes from a different angle.  And I LOVE it!

I love it so much that I am taking a moment to explain how it works.  If you like – you can follow along.  Items you need:

1. Paper
2. pen or pencil (any writing utensil will work)

For the purpose of my blog I’m going to make it a bit more interesting and add a picture of a plate and place-mat    and my words on top of it.  So on your piece of paper, draw a large circle filling most of the paper.  I originally did this on a regular piece of paper, but as I mentioned, I am doing it a bit different to make it look a bit more interesting.

Once you have drawn your circle as shown above, write out all your obligations or “whats on your plate”  Take as little or as long as you’d like to write out what you are entitled and expected to do for the week.  Below I have a list of things which I need to do and that are bogging me down.  What goes on your plate can be a small or large task – I wasn’t as specific with mine due to privacy reasons – however you can go as detailed as you like.

Once you have that completed, take a moment to examine how you feel.  I know I feel overwhelmed by my list. I find it overwhelming just to look and attempt to read the list!  I definitely have far too much on my plate for me to handle.  Maybe you don’t have as much on your plate and you don’t feel so overwhelmed, I congratulate you!  And I would love for you to comment and explain how you do it!  Maybe you are looking to add more because you aren’t doing enough?  Well, this “goal setting” project can help you too!

The plate of things is definitely full for me, and it’s time I move to the next step.  I am going to underline in a different colour (mainly for your benefit), but you can use the same if you like.  The BIGGEST thing you wish you could change right away – whether or not it is possible underline ONE item on the list.  Mine looks like the following:

I didn’t know which was the biggest, or most mind boggling, so I chose one.  I underlined two, because they are so interconnected it’s not funny.  Now, I am sure you are wondering what’s next? I have drawn the silly circle and wrote down an overwhelming amount of tasks I am expected to do this week and underlined one of them? What Gives?  Good question!  The next step is to think of something that you want to change somehow on your list.  This can be EXTREMELY overwhelming, but think of it this way; If someone is going to change their diet in a very simplistic way and not all at once, they might try to add an apple each day instead of eating as much junk food.  You are thinking about changing 1% of ONE item on that list.  I have chosen mine below.  (again in a  different colour!)  This time circle that one thing you are going to try to change.  See below for my example.

I chose stretches for my neck and back as I can do some of them instead of getting overwhelmed with doing 2-3 hours worth.  I can maybe do 10 minutes each day instead, so at least I get the main stretches in to help my back and my neck heal and strengthen from the car accident I was in.  It’s still overwhelming, but I think a bit more manageable than what I was attempting to do before, and not succeeding at.  So far it’s been much better than it has been.  I am doing a few stretches that help, and although I have not seen an improvement yet, I know that my injuries aren’t getting worse! And that alone is EXTREMELY helpful to me.

There is one more aspect to this plate that I have not mentioned yet, and it is by far the best part of goal setting for each week or day that I have ever gotten!  On the outside of your circle or “plate” write down the things that you love to do but haven’t been able to do for a while.  It could be something you hope to do in the future to, but something that you take great delight in doing.  Look at my examples below to give you some ideas.

It was fairly easy for me to list the things I enjoy doing, and the list does go on, but I didn’t want to bog down this blog with all my favorite actives.  I also needed to focus more on the act ivies that I LOVE doing and that I live for.

So at this point we are ALMOST done our plate, but we have one more thing to do here.  You can circle, put a star next to it, or underline ONE of your favorite activities which you haven’t done for in a while but would be manageable to add just a smidge to your life.   It was difficult for me to choose because of the car accident I was in, I no longer have a car so I can’t drive out to go horseback riding, and my muscles aren’t strong enough to cycle, and my brain is already fried as it is so writing is out of the question, and as much as I’d like to – the crafts wouldn’t really get done.  Below is what I chose to incorporate into my life just 1%.  Same idea as before.  I had to get extremely creative in my thinking as I’ll explain in a bit, but for now – here is another picture example:

I chose horseback riding – however, I don’t have the means to get out and go horseback riding because I no longer have a car, and I can’t afford a car, but I do have many, many, many pictures of horses and I can look over them and imagine what it was like, in my mind I can go back to those amazing days in which I was riding.

I must admit walking into Service Dog Club I was not really happy, and I didn’t really have anything positive to say.  I was depressed and overwhelmed etc etc.  But when I started talking about horseback riding, my mood changed completely.  I felt a sense of freedom I only feel while horseback riding.   The wind in my hair, and the feeling of running away even for a moment away from all of the crap of life.  Being one with nature and another animal, I feel free and fully in control and a sense of adventure that I can participate in.  Although I cannot go out and saddle up a horse and go riding this very moment, I can take a tiny bit of my overwhelming day and place myself on a horse of my choice and ride into the sunset leaving my burdens behind.

So to answer the title to my blog? What is on my plate? A hell of a lot more than I can handle, but in my mind I can try to hop on a horse and ride away even if for a moment.

Chow for Now!

Today I want to talk about what I learned on Monday, as an attempt to remember what I learned, but to also share with you this wonderful journey I am on.  First I will explain what I need to do in order to switch the dog to the other side.  Please note this is what you do with a fully trained service dog.

• Step 1: While talking gently pull arm towards your back
• Step 2: Say “Side”
• Step 3: With the same hand as the side you want the dog on, reach for the leash behind you
• Step 4: Adjust leash accordingly
• Step 5: Continue walking normally

It was a bit awkward at first, but I learned how to do it fairly quickly.  I am not at all advanced in dog handling or even in this simple switching of the sides, but I am learning and I am gaining progress with each and every step (literally) that I take!

I did mention that I was learning about how to handle doors with service dogs.  I am learning the basics, as I was not holding any bags and it was just D’fer and myself.  (Well, the head trainer also!)  The following is what I do when approaching and using a door.

• Step 1: Walk casually to the door
• Step 2: As my free hand touches the handle, say “door”
• Step 3: Walk through the door casually

It’s similar if I am going to hold the door open for someone, but I do not say door until I am about to walk through the door.  I have also learned that the automatic door buttons are in the most inconvenient of all places it could be.  One of them is placed on the wall immediately behind the security scanner, and it’s a very narrow space to begin with.

It was here that I bumped into an acquaintance of mine that I have not spent a whole lot of time with, but she was happy to see me, and I was happy to see her also!  She was curious about how to approach someone with a service dog, and it was absolutely amazing  It put a smile on my face.

I also learned how to handle a dog in the Tim Hortans line at the food court, but before I get into that, I want to share with you my first experience with some ignorant older men.  I’m sure they were just teasing, but it was still quite rude of them and I told them so!

Widget who was being handled by someone with more experience than I went a head of me, and I gave a good amount of distance in between the dogs as they know each other and sometimes want to play.  So, while I was doing some of my door work, Widget was doing some of his work with the handler.  I was walking down the hall of the mall with D’fer to my left, and the wall to my right, and I noticed that  Widget was squatting down.  I was immediately thankful that I was not handling him!  He pooped right in the middle of the mall!  (And we did give him ample time prior to going in the mall to do his business)  Sue Alexander told me to hang on, and so I stopped where I was and asked D’fer to lay down – he did exactly that.  Meanwhile, some older adults came buy and indirectly told me that I was working my dog so hard that I needed to give him a rest.  I immediately responded to them saying that was a rude comment and I was simply waiting on the instructor who was obviously busy up ahead with another dog.  They just walked away.

I must explain, that we did clean up Widget’s mess, and got a mop to clean up after him too.  After this ordeal we decided to take a break, and Sue Alexander and I were going to get the tea and coffees, while the other two looked for a place for all of us to sit.

Sue and I approached the line and once again, I will break it up into steps. (mainly for my own sake so if I need to look back and remember something, I can do that!)

• Step 1: Approach the line casually
• Step 2: Ask the dog to stand behind you
• Step 3: Say “step” as you take one step forward so the dog knows to stay behind you.
• Step 4: Order and step aside if necessary to wait for the food/items.
• Step 5: Tell the dog to swing/back up/ etc until the dog is in the right place
• Step 6: Take order, tell the dog “let’s go”
• Step 7: Walk casually to your seat

That was my Monday!  I didn’t really want to go because my anxiety was so high still, but I did notice that because of D’fer walking next to me, I had my personal space, and it did make things much easier to handle!  Needless to say when I went home, I cuddled with my kitties and had a long nap!

As I said that was my Monday, and today is Wednesday, which means I need to get ready for Service Dog Club  !

Chow for Now!

I am not entirely sure where a service dog fits into my life at the moment.  As you continue to read about my week, and the questions that have come up you may understand a bit more clearly.  Please remember that I am learning as I go and I don’t have all the answers, and part of this journey is to find the right answers.

This past week has been one of many challenges and very productive at the same time.  as i have posted earlier, I went to my public access training, but I also had Service Dog Club and Levels class with Widget.  It’s a lot more than what I am used to.  I can handle the extra classes, but there have been a few surprises this week that I was not expecting; some good and some not so good.

The good events of this week:

• First public access session was a success
• Got my hearing aids fixed
• Had 2 doctors appointments
• Starting to sleep better & I have new glasses on the way
• SDC (Service Dog Club)
• Levels Class with Widget & our weekly walk

Not so good events of the week:

• Getting to know the new bus system & waiting 15-30 min in between each transfer
• Hearing aids stopped working
• Didn’t sleep well
• Had lots of anxiety
• Had a PTSD “episode“

I’ve been thinking a lot about this past week as I said, but mainly how Widget would fit into my daily routine.  I do generally plan many most of the hours of my day with a specific routine, and appointments etc each week – but once in a while the unexpected happens.  Obviously, Widget fits into the public access part, but exactly how would it change how I do things?  i’m going to avoid the issue of Guelph Transit for right now as it’s a pain in the ass, and I just got over a really intense anxiety/PTSD moment/episode.

I understand that I will be doing things much more slowly for the first while, and I will be exhausted as there is a lot to take in, and it is hard to properly handle a service dog when you are just learning.  (Very similar to driving a car, and learning how to drive)  So for now I am assuming that I have no issues with Widget getting on and off the bus with me, and I go to my audiologist’s office to get my hearing aids fixed.  The weather was fairly decent so I didn’t need to worry about rain and a wet dog in public – but the problem comes when I am in the office.  I walk up to the desk, tell them I am there, then go sit down.  But before I sit down, I get the dog to sit first.  What if someone around me is afraid of dogs? Or wants to talk to me about my service dog?  Part of my problem is that if someone asks me a question I’ll answer them and then after I’ll realize that it was too personal of a question.  (It’s part of having Asperger’s for me)  What if Widget fidgets? I can no longer just be anonymously waiting for my appointment – Having Widget there will be like having a huge sign above my head saying ” I HAVE A DISABILITY” Most of the time I am happy to talk to people about my life and what goes on, but what happens when I don’t want to talk and I answer their questions even when I don’t want to?  Anxiety happens – that’s what!

Ok, the next stop of that particular day was to my naturopath’s office which was just a block down the street.  I open the door, and I stand and wait for a B12 shot to help with my anxiety and sleep.  I waited for a while, but do I stand and ask Widget to sit down? Lay down?  What if he doesn’t do what he’s told?  What if there is a child that wants to say hello to him?  It can get very distracting in that office for me, and I get carried away with listening to how they all interact together.  (Please note this is a place I feel extremely comfortable in.)  Say everything goes ok, and I continue to walk down the street, and I pass Hakim Optical – the place I buy my glasses and I was just given the OK the week before that I can get my eyes checked.  They don’t take walk ins, but I am very picky about the frames I wear.  (Mainly because I know I am rough on them and it takes a while for me to choose the right frame)  If I have the service dog with me – do i go in or do I continue to go downtown? For the sake of my argument let’s say I go in with the dog.  I am greeted by Kelly and Charlie (sp?) and I look at different frames.  Charlie mentions that there is a half off sale and I am intrigued.  But where would the dog be in all of this?  Would I tell him to lay down and stay? Would I walk slowly around the room looking for the perfect frames? What if his tail knocked some glasses over?  What if they are distracted by the dog and don’t help me find the right pair?  I am told that the sale ends that week.  So I am more rushed than normal, my anxiety rises – does widget notice?  What if he tells me it’s time for me to leave and go home?  I’m saving $400+ on glasses IF I rush – how do i explain that to a dog that is meant to be persistent and keeps bugging me until I leave?  Do I tell him enough and continue?

What about the eye exam, in a tiny room?  Where do I place him so no one steps on him?  Do I get him to lay down the hall out of the way closer to the letter E, or do I have him closer to me?  These are all things I am now starting to realize I need to pay attention to, and one of the MANY reasons I am grateful that this is a slow process and not one of the programs that trains the dog separately then gives you 6 weeks of intense training and then you’re on your way.

I can go on and on about my week, and how it could’ve been “worse” if I had Widget with me, however, right now he is just an adolescent, and not fully trained.  But even if he was a fully trained service dog – what would I do?  I’m new to all of this.

I ended this week with a huge meltdown, one I haven’t had in a long time.  I was stuck, and all I could do was wait it out.  It would’ve been helpful to have a trained service dog to help me cope and to let me know when I am doing to much.  After all, part of his job is to let me know when i’m over doing it.  I understand I have a disability, and I need help to be a bit more independent than I am at the moment -

Chow for now

So, all of us have our dogs (No names being said so people can have their privacy)  And I am handed D’fers leash.  It was simple, but at the same time a lot to take in all at once.  I have the wall of stores on my right side and D’fer on my left.  I keep my head and chin up and look to where I want to go.  If I need to slow down or stop, I’ll bring my hand every so slightly behind me so the dog knows to slow down.  I’m walking down the main hallway of the mall, everyone buzzing around me – the dog creates my own personal space, and I felt more confident and peaceful than I have in a while in the mall!  I also walked slower to take everything in so I don’t make any mistakes along the way.  I have to be aware of strollers, other service dogs, children, people walking slowly, wheel chairs all at the same time as walking with the dog, and keeping a connection with him!

I also forgot to mention that I have to pick a spot in which I am going to be walking to and navigate through some of the people and crowds and such.  So today I walked up to the first corner, and I stopped.  Turned to my right and looked for another place to focus my direction on. And told the dog “lets go” and continued.

When I got to another intersection within the mall, I had to stop and see where the best path for the dog and me to go.  I noticed I walked a bit slower than I usually do – but I was processing a lot of information all at once and I was comfortable walking at that pace.  When I needed to turn left, I look to where I want to go, swing my arm back and then continue on route.  If I’m turning right, I look to where I want to go, move my arm forward and then turn.  It’s all about communicating with the dog!

At the end of our lesson I got to practice sitting down with the dog, and I was treated to a booster juice (mango hurricane with NO yogurt)  And we sat and chatted.  It was quite amazing for all of us to be sitting around a table with a bunch of service dogs.

I didn’t notice anyone really paying more attention to me than normal, although I noticed a few people see the dog, and that was about it.  After, I went down to the dollar store and grabbed a few items which I have been collecting to renovate my apartment with!!  I am so pumped!!

Speaking about the apartment, I must be going so my apartment will be ready for company and Widget, for when he comes to visit my place for the first time!!  As always feel free to comment and ask me questions, i’ll answer them as quickly as i can!

Chow for Now

Please note that wrapping the leash around your hand is EXTREMELY dangerous! And if the dog bolts on you, you will end up with broken bones.

I have enjoyed working with Widget, and K9 Helpers and using the Dogs in the Park facility to train Widget. I am that those of you who follow my blog, at least when I’ve written something, know that I say that a lot! There are some frustrating things about being trained to handle a service dog and the main thing is CHANGE! Part of having asperger’s syndrome is that my brain doesn’t always like changing from on thing to another. I often super-focus on something that I am doing and oblivious to my surroundings to a certain point.

At the same time I am also hyper-vigilant, and hyper-aware due to my anxiety and the PTSD. This makes it a bit of a challenge for me, to say the least. However, the people that are working with both me and Widget understand the two of us really well, and if one thing doesn’t work we try another method. If I am taught what detail to pay attention I can and EVENTUALLY learn what I need to focus on. It can be a hard and overwhelming process for me, but at the same time I find it rewarding because I enjoy learning.

Since Widget was a young puppy, he and I have been working on loose leash walking. Aparently, not only do I tend to have this death grip on the leash, but my whole body tightens up. The other issue I have is shifting my attention. I need to train my brain to switch from one thing to another quickly. I can do this, as I learned to drive quite well and it became very natural to me, but it can cause a lot of anxiety in the process.

So far I have NOT had a lot of anxiety regarding this, but it does drain my brain some! This past wednesday, we did a different style of loose leash walking. Instead of me holding the leash in my thumb, I attached the leash to my belt loop.  And had some treats in my hand as well as the clicker.  For about an hour I did the following:

1. Looking at Widget, waiting for him to look at me.

2. Widget looks at me.

3. Press the Clicker.

4. Take TWO steps forward.

5. Give ONE treat at the knee. (the side the dog is on)

6. Repeat steps 1-5 Until Sue Alexander gives more directions.

7. Take leash OFF of belt loop and leave it on floor and continue steps 1-5.

Now, this may seem like a simple task, however – it’s not as simple as it may seem.  Widget is still a puppy, and I am still learning how to handle a service dog.  This training is for the both of us so when I am in a complete dissociative state he’ll just follow me around and do his job.

There is a lot for me to take in, and I am enjoying the process.  I still want to grab the leash, but that is slowly getting better and my death grip on the leash is beginning to come to an end

Chow for Now

I’m not sure how I got it mixed up – but that is ok!  I used the experience as getting to know our city’s new bus routes and I went and bought some organizing containers for my apartment.  It was not a total loss as I am organizing my place more and more as I wait for the big brown pup to come visit in a few months.

So what did I learn from all of this?  I learned that it’s important for me to double check PRIOR to leaving – perhaps the day before when there are holidays as people can make mistakes and accidentally hear or say the wrong dates.  The trip to the mall wasn’t a complete loss either, and I am learning how to cope with changes as even if it was a year ago this situation would’ve sent me in a anxious spiral downward – but yesterday I chose to make the best of the situation!

I must admit I am very proud of myself for being able to adapt better to changes I am not expecting.

YAY ME!!!

chow for now!

Today is the first OFFICIAL day that my training begins.  I get to go to the mall in town and learn how to walk/handle a fully trained service dog!  (This will NOT be Widget as he is still in training as he’s only 8 months old!)  When I first learned about service dogs, I automatically thought a(nd I’m sure many others around me think the same) that the dog leads the human, and the human follows – after all isn’t that what the guide dogs do for the blind?  However, I was wrong in this line of thinking.  Service dog handling is very much like a dance, one may be leading, but the other needs to know and understand the movements and beat of the music in which to move to.  There is much communication between the two dancers, and it’s the same with handling a service dog.

At this point I must confess, that I am so new to this that I am not sure who is really leading – me or the dog, but that is what this training is for!  It will take place every Monday at 2:30.  I start off with a fully trained service dog named D’fer (D fer Dog) he is a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and is owned by Sue Alexander who founded K9 Helpers Service Dogs.

I’m a bit nervous about my first day of training, but I am confident that Sue knows what she is doing, and as I have known her for quite some time now, I have faith in her as well as her dog to help teach me what I need to know to be a good service dog handler.  I might just be watching Sue handle D;fer for today, but that might change.  I hope to blog about the excitement either at the end of the day or tomorrow.  (If nothing sidetracks me)

This makes me think about how things would be different if I had a fully trained service dog that could be with me.  The dog could help me differentiate when to push through anxiety and when to take a break – and alert me to what activities I could be doing to calm myself down.  It’s a lot harder to do this on my own.  I’m not good with boundaries – I suck at them.  I don’t know when I should start something or stop something – this is the Asperger’s that affects me.

I am coming home on Thursday.  I’m happy to come home.  I have some anxiety, but there, at home I KNOW what to expect for the most part.  I have a kitty that will snuggle up with me and he helps take my mind off of what’s bothering me – even if it’s just for a moment at a time, it works.

I was hoping to do more work on this site while being away, but it hasn’t worked out as I am exhausted.  I hope to have more on this site as I start feeling better.

chow for now

Granted having a service dog will be different.  I could carry Mitchy on my back and still carry my luggage without a problem.  With a service dog – I will have a the dog – his pack, his harness his stuff and then all of my stuff.  Packing will be different because I’ll need to pack his food and dishes and maybe a toy…

We’ll see what happens.  I just got a headache so I’m going to go for a nap.  I miss my kitty already and wish he was here with me.  I miss his snuggles and life is just empty without him.  I am having a good time though.

Chow for Now